8 months ago...Time passes us by

We go through life day by day, struggling through the tough ones and wishing that the wonderful ones wouldn't end quite so soon. Somehow time seems to pass us by. Just 8 months ago, I was entering my freshman year of college, not knowing what to expect or how I was going to adjust to the new life I had to create for myself. Now 8 months later, I have built a family for myself here, and it seems as if I have known my friends forever. Looking back at the beginning, I thought I was never going to find a group of friends as strong as the ones that I have back at home because those friendships were built on years together. Before I knew it, the friends and family that I have established at Lehigh built a strong bond based on less than a year knowing one another.

Time passes us by. We wake up every morning, go to work or school, and await the next day when we have something to look forward to and keep us going. While some of us go through life in this monotonous pattern, others live for change and adventure. During the past 8 months, I have experienced some of the greatest changes and tackled daring adventures.

Nonetheless, 8 months ago, I was a different person. Yes, I still have the same appearance and mannerisms. But, the way I carry myself has changed; my interactions with people have changed; my outlook on life has changed. We don't realize what is happening - that we are living our lives, adapting to our new surroundings, growing as people.

While talking with juniors and seniors, I was told that college goes by so fast and to enjoy every moment of it. Get involved in as much as you can. Don't sit back as a passive observer but stay engaged and active in your life. Even just the first year has flashed before my eyes. While I remember saying farewells to my friends and parting ways with my mom in August, they seem like distant memories and a part of a separate me, a separate identity and life. When our lives seem like they are passing by too fast, just remember all that we have achieved, the moments that we have enjoyed, and the great extent to which we have grown.

Pause the Thoughts

Stop. Take a deep breath. And try to remember the last time you breathed without thinking about anything. For most people, we hardly ever are breathing without thinking about something, whether it be I wonder if my shoes are on the wrong feet because people are giving me funny looks to What is my schedule like tomorrow? to When will she give us our tests back? The anxiety is killing me. Our lives these days are jam-packed. People don't make phone calls sitting down at a desk with their mind only on that matter anymore; now we talk to our mothers and our clients while getting a latte, while reading a magazine, while driving, while working out even. In this day in age, we have adapted ourselves to be able to multitask in order to get everything done in our busy lives. Usually, we think of multitasking as a positive quality to have. And while it can become useful at times, it often allows us to not completely absorb the moment that we are in. Instead of steering all of our attention at one activity, we allocate minimal attention to multiple activities.

One activity that I have recently took on since returning home for winter break is yoga. While yoga may not be the toughest physical activity, it is one of the most challenging mental activities. At my first yoga class, the most important thing I learned was six breaths in, seven breaths out. During that hour, I relaxed and was able to breathe without thinking about anything else. I focused my mind entirely on what I was doing at that moment. Between my deep breaths I was able to forget the world, the reality. It was like pausing life - putting it on hold until you were ready to start again.

Now I am able to appreciate my breaths of silence, without any thoughts interrupting my breathing. Sometimes concentrating on a single activity makes us cherish it even more than before because we notice aspects that we missed previously. For me, I realized the importance of taking a step back from life and letting yourself catch up. Don't be afraid to push the pause button every now and then.

Reach for the Stars

On the TV show "The Biggest Loser," one of the participants told himself and his family that his goal was to be in the final four. When he said this, it got me thinking why not have your goal be to win the entire show? You know usually that is a person's goal. To win. However, as I thought about this idea, I recalled setting goals for myself. When you set a goal, usually you hope to accomplish something that will satisfy you. A medical student, for instance, shouldn't set a goal to find a cure to a disease until she passes medical school and starts working on patients and doing research. Being in finals week, I could set a goal for myself to study all of my economics on one day; but, the chances of that goal actually being accomplished are slim merely because of reality: there is a lot of information to cover. Also, if you set a goal for yourself that is clearly too far out of reach, you may try to reach that goal. While trying to reach it, you may accomplish a greater quantity with minimal quantity. Although you don't want to set a goal out of reach, you also don't want to set a goal that is too easy to accomplish because that will not be satisfying once you accomplish it.

In my opinion, the guy on "The Biggest Loser" had a very positive, rational outlook on life. Entering the show with many contestants, he didn't set his goal outside of his reach. And look at him now: he IS one of the final four. Now that he has gotten to that goal, he can reevaluate and set an even higher goal. I have taken him as a role model. I made a schedule for myself for this week because I have no classes and my first final isn't until Saturday. So I set goals for each day. While making it I tried to be rational, because otherwise I would just get frustrated with myself for not having accomplished my goal rather than being proud and satisfied with the great amount that I did accomplish.

So while the saying does go, reach for the stars, don't reach for them if they are not within your grasp. Don't try and achieve something that from the start you don't believe you can achieve. Set goals but don't set them out of your reach because then you'll never strive for them nor believe that you can attain them. And believe in yourself. Have faith and pride in what you do, otherwise what is the use in doing it.

"No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

Today, I awoke energy-less. Nonetheless, I lifted myself from my bed and told myself Today is going to be a good day. Even though I felt physically exhausted, through positive thinking, I psyched myself into believing that my body was full of energy and enthusiasm. The psychology and cognitive processes of humans is fascinating: how we can change our mindset merely through positive mental perseverance.

We all have bad days and good days. Often bad days are marked by low energy and limited significant events; good days by high energy and productivity. Although, I have learned through experience and my upbringing that just because you don't physically have a lot of energy doesn't mean you cannot thrust energy upon yourself. How we feel on a given day is characterized by our physical well-being but also by our mental well-being. Just through mental energy and thinking, we can turn a bad situation into a learning experience; a day with two-hours worth of sleep into full of energy; or a challenge into a defeat. It is all about how you look at life. If you think you are going to mess up on a presentation, more likely than not that thinking will cause you to mess up. If you don't believe in yourself and the positive that can come from life, you will have greater difficulty succeeding and life will not seem as rewarding. It's all about what you convince yourself.

So even though one day may not be the best for you, lift your head up and make it a good day. Don't let something be out of your reach; control your mind and life. And if you don't do or say what you wanted to today, there's always tomorrow. As Maya Angelou said (referring to the quote at the beginning), life goes on.

We all have our families - those to which we were born. But then there exist the other types of families - the ones that we create for ourselves. For me, my biological family has always been a major component of my life. My other families in the past have included my Pinewood family (in which I invested thirteen years to create), my friend family, my basketball family, and the odd acquaintances family (consisting of waitresses, manicurists, and hair dressers).

I have never noticed the extent to which a family is there for you until I left some of those families when I went to college. While I still remain a part of that closely knit family, I am not actively invested in it. However, coming back home for Thanksgiving reminded me of how lucky I am to have people that care about me and how valuable those relationships and families I have formed are. For one instance, my mom and I went to get a manicure and the manicurist that my mom sees every week or so greeted me with a big warm welcome when I walked through the door. Something as simple as this encounter reminds me of the importance of families. Even going to the gym where my mom recently became a member - a place that I have never been before, I bumped into high school teachers. Not until now have I realized how large of a network I have in California. It is comforting to be in downtown and to run into someone I know. The familiarity of the place and the people!

As we journey through life, we build new families when we enter new communities. I am now a part of the Lehigh community and have formed a Lehigh family. While leaving my set of families at home is often difficult, I have my PA family to look forward to seeing.

One thing that I did not expect from coming home was to be reminded of people at Lehigh. Yes, I did expect to think of Rosie when I heard "Party in the USA" or Megan when my mom showed me the Brown and White, which she subscribes to. But random people whose names I don't even know, I was reminded of. With my daily routine, I often see the same people studying in the library at 9:30 a.m. or walking to class at 11:00 a.m. Never have I had a personal encounter with them other than exchanging a smile. But as I have seen them so much and they have in a way become a part of my routine, their faces are implanted in my memory. So while dining in a restaurant or grocery shopping in Los Altos, other diners or customers reminded me of those passerbyers in my routinely day at Lehigh. Amazing: how now people that never would have had significance to me three months ago remind me of an alternate community that I belong to.

On the plane back home

Home. How might it have changed from when I left it? Having been three months since I was last there, changes surely occurred. But what might those be? Every day I talk to my mom, so I know what is happening back at home. However, hearing changes is not the same as experiencing them. And small changes that may appear insignificant to her could seem grand to me.

As far as my relationships with people, I have seen my mom several times since I left for college, and I talk to her every day, so that will not be any different than it was before I left or than it was since I last saw her. Delna came to visit me at the end of October. I know, lucky me! When we saw each other, our strong bond had not changed; however, it did take a short bit to click back into how in sync our interactions were previously. I talk to her either every day or every other day, so we are still an integral part of each others' lives. My relationships with the two people, who are a huge part of my life at home, will most likely be unchanged.

I do assume that seeing my classmates from high school will be different. Of my closest group of friends, not many are home because they stayed on the east coast for Thanksgiving (the three of them met in NYC). However, my interactions with the several that will be home will be very comforting to be with old time friends. Since when I was in school with my more distant acquaintances, I didn't hang out with them all the time, it will be interesting to see how our relationships to each other have changed and who has remained in contact with each other. Conversations will likely consist of how you are enjoying college, what you are involved in on campus, what classes you are taking, and so forth...the things that often compose conversations that are considered small talk. Nonetheless, seeing people from my "past life" (as my anthropology teacher would say) will be a refreshing experience.

Daily activities will be the same: breakfast, workout, shower, lunch, and whatever in the afternoon. One thing that many college students have struggled with when returning home (as I have heard since I am yet to experience it) is dealing with a curfew. Often high school students have curfews; however, once at college, they no longer have a curfew or a parent watching over them - that is part of the liberating feeling of freedom and independence that comes with college. Upon returning home, parents enforce that curfew again. This can often be difficult because the student goes from having no curfew to having his freedom restricted. Nevertheless, I do not expect this to be a problem with me because in high school I did not have a curfew, since I often returned home at a reasonable hour anyway.

While I do not face the curfew "problem," I do have the house situation to deal with. My mom is still living in my old house. However, before I left for college, I said bye to my room and that house, expecting that when I returned for Thanksgiving and Christmas the house would no longer be ours. Surprisingly, we still own the hose and my room is still there. While this is a very nice feeling to return to something familiar, I was prepared for it not being so. I have the comfort of my own home to look forward to, but my mom also just bought a new house. So, I am caught in the in-between phase of still having my old home but having the excitement of a new home as well. Things in my old house will not have changed drastically, but, now there will be a new enthusiasm. And I have seen the new house already, which is part of the weirdness to it. We had looked at the house in the middle to the end of summer. Much to my surprise and happiness, three months later the house is now our home. My twelfth home (if I counted correctly) with many more to come.

So, C.H.A.N.G.E. It comes upon us whether we want it to or not. But will the change we expect be the same as what it actually is? That is the real question. The only way to answer that question is to live. Live your life and discover the mysteries to your questions.

Lehigh-Laf Week

This week marks one of the longest lived traditions at Lehigh. Lehigh-Laf Week. For 145 years Lehigh and Lafayette, two of the biggest rivals, have met to test who has the stronger football team. Festivities include bed races, the turkey trot, and the bonfire. All of these traditions make Lehigh unique and bring the student body together. While the activities are fun to engage in, is everyone's excitement about the football game on Saturday or is their excitement engendered by the desire and ability to go crazy?

At first glance, it may appear that Lehigh students are very spirited towards their school and the rivalry. But once we delve deeper into the concept of their excitement, perhaps, not being brought about for the sole purpose of support and spirit, we see a different perspective. During this week, people party more often and feel that they have the justification to celebrate more because of the long-lived tradition. In reality, they are just using the tradition as an excuse. People could party every night of every week if they really wanted to. But do they? No, because they feel an obligation towards their studies or some other responsibility. This week brings the students a sense of freedom and relief from the burden of schoolwork. I would say that a majority of students have this thought process: of rejoicing because it is almost expected of them. So do we do things merely because they are expected of us? No doubt we do. Then there is the question of traditions and spirit. Are people actually excited for the event or more excited for the festivities leading up to the event? As I discussed with one of my friends, we agree that most people express excitement over the festivities rather than the actual event. So there is a false facade put on that we render enthusiasm for something for which we do not.

In anthropology class, we were discussing holidays. When we were younger, we knew Thanksgiving and Christmas as holidays of eating big meals with our families and giving thanks or receiving gifts. But do we truly understand the meaning and origins of such holidays? These two ideas - Lehigh-Laf Week and holidays - both involve and present the ideas of traditions and their true motives.

Along the same lines are the quirky things that a team or group of people adopts. My club basketball team, for example, has a cheer where one girl says "How high?" and the rest of the team says "Lehigh!" While a few members may know the origins and significance of this cheer, the majority of the team members have no idea where it came from. Nonetheless, we continue to cherish it as something that bonds us together. In life, we often do not know the meaning of our actions, but rather do them because it is what is expected of us or what our group is doing. In my opinion, this is very myopic of us. We should act because we have motives that incline us to do so. It's like the saying, think before you speak. The thought behind this is to find logic in your thoughts before sharing them with the world. Similarly, think before you act. You should know why you are doing something and not just do it for the heck of it.